Aldous and Infant Sorrow are Douches

I JUST read a tabloid interview with Aldous of the cheeseball Infant Sorrow. Apparently he and Sarah met about a year ago, and ever since then they have been in love. WTF? Sarah and I broke up just a few weeks ago, how is that possible?

You know if they’re together that totally makes sense. They’re both cheeseball douchebags. They can go to the grocery store together and get pictured in “celebrities, they’re just like us.” Hopefully he’ll knock her up and leave her high and dry with a long haired sexually vague child named Haven or Ryder or whatever. I wish them all the best. I really do. They deserve each other’s hypocrisies and bs. I’m actually happy it happened. It’s like a clean break. It’s like the bandage has been ripped off. It’s like my brother’s wife Liz is always saying, “when you want to clean something up that’s bad, use bleach, don’t let it fester for a week.” Sure she was referring to a steak sub I’d left out for a month, but the metaphor works here too.




Enjoy the herpes Sarah!