The Perfect Metaphor For Sarah Marshall

I want to take a vacation, so I call to redeem points from a celebrity bball tournament I won (against Frankie Muniz and Freddie Prinze, Jr. – both are way better than you’d think) but the points are in Sarah’s name. Granted, it was a couples tournament, but I WON MOST OF THE points and now the points are non-transferable and I can’t take my f'ng vacation. Perfect metaphor for how I carried the weight of this relationship and she gets the points. And now I REALLY wanna play bball. Anybody interested, hit me up.